An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are all to give speeches to the Deaf Society. All are keen to make an impression on their audience.
The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his colleagues starts by rubbing first his chest and then his groin. When he finishes the Scotsman and Irishman ask him what he was doing.

'Well' he explained' By rubbing my chest I indicated %^@*@&s and thus Ladies and by rubbing my groin I indicated balls and thus Gentlemen. So my speech started Ladies and Gentlemen'.

On his way up to the podium the Scotsman thought to himself I'll go one better than that English fool and started his speech by making an antler symbol with his fingers above his head before also rubbing his chest and his groin. When he finished his colleagues asked what he was doing.

'Well' he explained' By imitating antlers and then rubbing my chest and groin I was starting my speech by saying Dear Ladies and Gentlemen'.

On his way up to the podium the Irishman thought to himself I'll go one further than those mainland fools and started his speech by making an antler symbol above his head, rubbing his chest, and then his groin, and then masturbating furiously. When he finished his colleagues asked him what he was doing.

'Well' he explained,' by imitating antlers, rubbing my chest and then my groin and then masturbating I was starting my speech by saying 'Dear Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure.......'

For decades two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven. "You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "that I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want to." And with a clap of his hand, the angel brought the statues to life.
The two approached each other a bit shyly but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.

"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking conspiratorically.

Grinning even more widely, the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down, and I'll shlt on it's head."

Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says
to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually
eat dogs."

"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America,
we might as well do as the Americans do."

Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog
vendor and they both walk towards the cart. "Two dogs, please,
"says one.

The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs
in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the nuns hurry
to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.'

The mother superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush
and, then, staring at it for a moment, leans to the other nun
and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"

One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and
pinched her on her butt and said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get
rid of your girdle." While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought
herself better and replied with silence.

The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast and
said, "You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra."

This was beyond a silence response, so she rolled over and grabbed
him by the dick. With a death grip in place she said, "You know if you firmed
this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the poolman and your
brother."

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young engineer who was fresh out of MIT, "What starting salary were you thinking about?"

The Engineer said, "In the neighbourhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

looks like it's rather explicit

sorry for that

lol...hahahah
jj got a great sense of humor!

LoL !!!

Does this count as a joke?:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtJRNyPK-lc

It's super funny! Funniest crap I ever saw!!!

you can try borat too