rio + ferdinand = rerdinand!!

lol..love it love it love it!!!x3
kidding val...wait then that means..

frank + lampard= frampard!! lol
more and more banter still to come ladies and gents..^_^v

united were strong against hull..just a stupid foul by rafael was the reason they scored..scoring from the spot is a matter of luck..united just got the wrong of the stick..

and the winger's initials wouldnt happen to be C.R. now would it??? that would be insanity all over again! united should look at marko marin of stuttgart..amazing dribbler, often called the german 'cristiano ronaldo' though chopstick size..plays like a blur outrunning the opposition during any circumstance..fits the english game perfectly...and little people have found their share of success in the premiership(lennon, swp, robinho,) so i cant see why marin wouldnt be able to as well..only a matter of time until he makes his mark on the world football community. im calling it now..

The blues had to come from behind to beat a stubborn Fulham; Chelsea took on the perfect impression of headless chickens after conceding a goal after just 4 minutes when Gera hooked in from 12 yards.

For much of the match I have to say Chelsea struggled to make any head way and only when Drogba finally equalised heading in at the far post.

Ancelotti said after Saturday's 0-0 draw with Birmingham that his side had little confidence and that was certainly the case at Fulham .

Six changes were made to the line-up but the number of alterations had little effect on the work rate or the number of clear shots on target, time after time Fulham easily pushed the half-hearted Chelsea incursions into the 10 yard box back. An own goal by Chris Smalling presented Chelsea with a victory that should in all essence have been a draw....

Let look to Portsmouth v Arsenal Wednesday, 30 December 2009, Dad said last night that Portsmouth have not beaten Arsenal since Louie Armstrong first broke wind into his trumpet with ?classics? such as "We Have All the Time in the World" which ironically Arsenal will need before they ever lift up a premier league crown.

Yes monsieur Kayoko, Fibreglass sorry that?s Fabregas may have provided the inspiration this the weekend but in reality he is still a walking sick note.

And not forgetting Val?s Man Utd in action against Wigan, now Man U have lost five games, but trail Chelsea by only two points, we are at the halfway stage of the season, and United?s past successful defences of the title are always strengthened by solid back four in defence, which has been somewhat undermined this season by injuries but a quick glance at the back four on show weekend and low and behold United have their regular back four all present and correct in Sunday's win at Hull.

Can this be a turning point for Man U........??

The smart money has Man U prevailing before match 38....we will see...

incomprehensible!

craig bellamy to arsenal!? written off now, but why even consider? tremendous work rate in bellamy yes, but you pay strikers to score; he seldomly does that..wenger WILL spend in january..so huntelaar→arsenal seems more and more likely as he is shopping for strikers..and seeing that 'fibreglass' is hurt up to the next month, denilson hurt, and alex song leaving for cameroon in january..our midfield first team is left to nothingness..wenger could buy at least 2 midfielders..who? ive not the slightest clue...but here's another good course of action worth considering to solve ALL woes..
↓↓↓
(coughcough..bring..cough..thierry henry...coughcough..back!!..cough)

a walking sick note yes fabby has become, but once he comes back full strength..that extra dimension he gave our side will be at full power..

and on to united..unless you see wes brown as a starting regular..yes their back line stands correct, but rio was missing yes?? an integral part of instigating united to amass countless clean sheets..he'smissing and up to a month i heard..only wish for a hasty recovery..and this is not the turning point just yet..every week until march is a brawl, but after that its a turning point to all the top3..crucial points and none to be dropped at all costs!!

i understand you said chelsea were low on confidence after the birmingham tie pips?..you felt disappointed with that result..sorry, but is it worth considering that birmingham is on a tear right now..unbeaten in 11 matches, and risen from 17th place to 8th in that span..8 consecutive matches with same starting xi..you just had to see the chemistry..its not chelsea were playing bad pips..birmingham was just too good; please accept that...and with carson yueng supplying the club with 40 million pounds for january..they plan to add much needed depth on the bench to continue their run of exuberance and not end up being a 'yo-yo' team like hull last year..

to whom are concerned, lol..

gimmes like yesterdays game at fratton park must be forbidden..im sure the big, fat, red guy is long gone but why are the leaders struggling for everything while we're given 3 points as if it were still christmas?

more than convincing results from united and arsenal has made this title chase the most exciting ive seen in years..united dismantling wigan 5-0..AGAIN! and gunners given 3 points easily in a 4-1 breeze by..(i watched the re-play via fsc)game looked way too easy though frustrating at first because we were creating 'half' chances..but once eduardo opened things up..game was more wide open and really sank pompey in terms of morale..looked as if they didnt want to play..only nadir beldahj seemed to play for pompey; taking shots instigating for a possible, but unlikely comeback→kudos to him for scoring, he really deserved it for his play..after the match you could hear arsenal fans singing ' we're going to win the league!' oh and did i mention we were without 'fibreglass'←(sorry, it kinda stuck) next wednesday, arsenal finally makes up that game in hand against as of right now, relegated-to-be AND manager-less bolton wanderers(gary megson sacked after a disappointing draw with hull)..we're looking to take all 3 points and be face-to-face to greet our london rivals..consider this scenario..

1). chelsea P:20 45pts
2). arsenal P:20 44pts
3). man united P:20 43pts

2 points separating 1 from 3..this far into the season ive never seen a race this close..we're breathing down the necks of chelsea..and united surely wants a piece of the action as well..i think richard clarke from 'arsenal.com' stated this perfectly on his article..

“watch out chelsea, arsenal are coming after you.”

Clearly Sir Alex has a rather different perspective and warns ?The second half of the season is when experience counts and we have that and we have the squad. The key is getting the defence fit and then we'll be a much better team."

With Nemanja Vidic in particular back to fitness gives Sir Alex a compressive selection and something like a solid back four in their last two matches and United have proved this in the matches with Hull and Wigan both easy wins.

Arsenal's recent form has sadly seen Kayoko turn slightly cuckoo....how does it go ?watch out Chelsea, Arsenal are coming after you?......Doctor for Kayoko he?s in danger going ?window licker?......


So for Mr Cuckoo a true story for New Years Eve ..., Sir Alex, Jose Mourinho, and Arsene Wenger go into a Famous London Pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the Barmaid plonks there pints down on the bar, three huge flies buzz down and lands in each of the pints. Sir Alex looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint. Jose picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow. But Arsene Wenger reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"....And that about says it all.....nuff said ....


For Man U the return to full fitness of Rio Ferdinand, Johnny Evans and John O'Shea will be crucial for the second half of the season...."There is no doubt that having a settled defence makes all the difference to us," cooed Sir Alex "The stability given to us by our back four against Wigan and last time out against Hull has been fantastic. We could have won by more against Wigan because we were able to play with confidence and aggression from that base. We hit the woodwork a couple of times and had another cleared off the line, but we're happy enough with 5-0."

A few famous Arsenal Q and A?s :

Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Arsenal Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the Arsenal Fan. Twice.

Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan in a suit?
A: The accused.

Q: Why did God make Arsenal supporters smelly?
A: So blind people could laugh at them too!

Q: What do you call 100 Arsenal supporters at the bottom of a cliff?
A: A good start!

Q: What do you call a dead Gunner Fan in a closet?
A: Last years winner of the hide and seek contest.

Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan that does well on an IQ test?
A: A cheat.

The seven dwarfs are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them.
In the distance a voice shouts out "Arsenal" are good enough to win the European Cup."
Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"

Thanks and credit to ?This arsenal jokes collection? ? by Humorsphere


And for fairness to Kayoko some Chelsea funnies too:

Royal Mail have just recalled their latest selection of stamps, featuring pictures of Jose Mourinho on them. Apparently people were confused which side to spit on.

What is the difference between Jose Mourinho and God? God doesn't think he's Jose Mourinho.

Why can't you get a cup of tea at Stamford Bridge? All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Old Trafford
Heard about the John Terry tyre? Excellent durability but not so good in the wet.

After Ryan Giggs lifted the Champions League cup for a second time he had a peek inside and there was a Chocolate Orange in it. He said - "It's not Terry's, it's mine!"

Four surgeons are taking a coffee break:

1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is colour coded."

4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arse's are interchangeable."

Q: What do you get when you cross a Chelsea Fan with a pig?
A: I don't know, there are some things a pig just won't do.

Credit and thanks to Paul Kavanagh

Happy New Year Sport fans ....

window licker?? that the best you got? two chelsea jokes were for inter milan and other joke was a tottenham knee slapper..i read off the site ok? cant fool me..you didnt say the 'good jokes' from there..here let me mention a few so we're square yes?

Q: why did Chelsea go into the stock exchange?
A: to prove that crap can float!

so i heard chelsea had arguably the best pitch in the premiership..well, not entirely surprised considering all the s**t thats been there..

(modified but funny just the same..)
Q: How can you tell ET is a Chelsea fan?
A: Because he looks like one..

credit and thanks to ? humorsphere..all jokes belong to humorsphere, no intent on stealing..

laughing yet..happy new year pips..and val

you mentioned united being strong during the second half of the season due to a stable back line..thats true and expierence sir alex mentioned does take its toll, but there's a problem..every team that doesnt concede goals has a chance on winning, but if you cant score..makes no difference..united can go unbeaten the remaining 18 matches but amass only 18 points..if all teams can adopt the famous '9-in-the-box' under siege defence tactics..united are in for a helluva long second half of the season..

chelsea are in deep too sister..aguero says he's happy in madrid..lowering chelsea's chance in signing him..with luca toni keen on leaving for roma..i think bayern is going to need their offense as potent as possible..letting ribery go could sabotage their chances for champions league..(uefa cup seeing the talent they have is not an option)i think ancelotti is using the possiblity of acquiring them as a scapegoat to say chelsea will manage in janaury, because honestly pips, they are f**ked!! lol..

gunners are fine to say the least..not likely to sign marouane chamakh from bordeaux, but arsene wenger is shopping AND he did in fact talk about huntelaar in his most recent interview with arsenal tv online..we will sign someone to replace rvp.

Kayoko I can never imagine you licking windows.... well at least not intentionally??.

And Kayoko I credited both sources as the jokes were not mine, some on the site are a little rich and so could be taken offensively.

The Premiership is too close to call Kayoko and no team has shown anywhere close to the consistency to succeed in lifting the premiership crown, transfers won?t save the day either as history has taught us that bringing in new players invariably adds confusion to an already desperate situation that only creates a destabilising effect?.. Thanks Kayoko I?m having a great New Years celebration I hope you are too ..

come on, but window licking happens to be one of my favorite past time activities..lol
some jokes were a bit too over the top but some were just funny to say the least..childs play..lol

i like seeing 'good' transfers, not 'greedy' ones because i think transfers make or break seasons of clubs..teams that dont spend wisely often feel the effects as theyre not rewarded with 3 points more often and a 'few' pounds short..but teams who do spend with care are the ones who make great runs towards the latter half of the season..i understand your perspective on transferring pips as it could destroy morale/chemistry due to insecurity in starting positions for certain players, but isnt that whats necessary?? at any point if a position on your team isnt performing to expectations, changes(usually upgrades)must to be made..im surprised we've mixed feelings towards this matter.

florentino perez's main goal must be to kill manchester united, for real...real madrid has taken so many players from united only to see them replaced with equal or better talent..afterwards the replacement becomes the target for transfer..6 months after signing cristiano ronaldo..real madrid makes 'daily express' front pages revealing theyre pursuing wayne rooney AND alongside barca, nemanja vidic..with a very unappreciated strategy, perez plans to use rooney's so-called 'friendship' with ronaldo to lure him to the bernabeu..bids set to come in this summer..lets wait for it..and i seriously want to see sir alex use a couple of swear words when he declines..he has the right now..

anfield looks to become 'vanfield'..benitez looks to sign dutch real madrid duo, ruud van nistelrooy and rafael van der vaart on loan..much needed offense to boost chances for a top4 finish..i cant hear liverpool fans chanting 'rruuuuuuud'~~ when he scores though..

was i right or what?? former inter manager roberto mancini looks to meet his former club's asking price of 45 million euros to sign brazilian wing back maicon...meaning they can afford to let micah richards go to tottenham for 12 million..also mancini has put word out on a possible move for inter's ivan cordoba as well..im genius pips..genius

with the 45 million made from city, inter owner moratti looks to invest all of it to sign cesc fabregas from arsenal!? 'having fabregas would help inter win champions league,' he said something moratti has been craving for the last decade. fabby has again and again expressed his loyalty to wenger and arsenal since real madrid and barcelona(surprised?) swept for a move for him 2 seasons ago..the only thing wenger asks for in return is extra cash and italian wonderkid mario balotelli in which moratti expressed that 'HE IS NOT FOR SALE!!' so guess what, unless arsene wenger becomes the manager for inter or leaves arsenal, expect 'fibreglass' to stay in north london for a long time..

Wow i missed lot of thing XD

I dont know if Liverpool will spend money on transfer season, they were to cheap to spend money. But i heard Man City will spend 70 billions euro to bought Torres out from Liverpool.

And MU planning to hired winger Juan Angel di Maria will not happen, cos his club not allowed Angel to go to MU.

Real want Rooney holy crap man , I heard Real cannot pay the debt after bought C Ronaldo from MU, now they want Rooney. Well Barca last season was stunning i dont know.... maybe Fabregas want to go to Barca, after a long years Arsenal didn't have better result on league and Championship.

Inter wants Gerrard next transfer season, its only rumor though