One day, While Digging For Treasure, A Man Hit Jackpot, and found a lamp with a genie.

He Rubbed It And Poofed*
She Appeared, Promising To Grant Him 5 wishes, but on the condition that his wife will get double what he gets.

He thought hard, real hard... and came up with 5..

First:
He Wished for 10 billion..
True enough, The Genie Granted Him 10billion and his wife got 20billion

Second:
He Wished For A Grand Villa With 10Ha of land.
For that, his wife had 2

Third:
He wished for him to be insured and everything goes to his wife if he died.
His wife was insured twice the amount and everything goes to him.

Forth:
He wish that he is the head of 10 Multi National Companies.
Expectedly his wife became head of 20.

But His Wife Aint The best of wives and her character was the worse, why must she get double of what he gets.

Guess what he wished...










...












He Wished that he would be beaten half dead, while his wife would be dead

This happens only in Delhi........

In New Delhi, Mr. Sharma comes homes one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody".

The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone call from DEB (Delhi Electric Board) because the electricity bill has not been paid.

"Am I speaking to Mrs Sharma?

"Yes.....speaking"

DEB Guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"

"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.

"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the DEB guy.

"What are you saying? It's in your files....HOW????

"Yes.... we have a system of finding out who's overdue"

"Oh my Goodness!!!!! This is too much....."

"Madam, I am sorry..... I am following orders. I have to inform you are overdue".

"I know that.... Let me talk to my husband about this tonight. He will speak to your company tomorrow"

That night, she tells her husband about the call, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to the DEB office the next morning.

"What's going on? You have it on your file that my wife is one month overdue? "What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.

"Just calm down, "says the lady at the reception at DEB, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."

"PAY you? And if I refuse?"

"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.

"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle!"

sexy towels

3 men were going to heaven when the devil showed up and wanted to drag them all to hell. so the 3 men and the devil decided to play a game using a chair with 3 holes. if the devil guess the right answer, that man would go to hell.

the 1st man who was a magician tried to fool the devil by making him think a coin would pass thorugh the 2nd hole but the devil did not fall for the trick and the man was sent to hell.

the 2nd man was a sniper and with great accuracy, he aimed through the 1st hole with a gun. but the devil had magical eyes and thus guess the correct hole.

the 3rd man was a nobody and had no talent. so he sat on the chair and he farted. he said: "guess which hole the fart come out from?"

the devil felt the man was dumb, he laughed and replied: " all 3 holes "

man: "no, it came out from my s*hole"

After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization ", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"

Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"

Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question.

If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "

Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"

Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal? "

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical ."

A blond guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's up?" he says.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his four-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, walks past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

"You rotten bastard," says the husband. "My wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"

Q & A


Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.

Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: You pick it up pull the pin & throw it back.

Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.

Q: What's the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?
A: Pick them up off the floor.

Q: Why don't blonds play frisbee?
A: It hurts their teeth.

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!

Q: How do blonde braincells die ?
A: Alone.

Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?
A: They can't find the zipper.

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the fish?
A: She tried to drown it.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A: Not everyone has been in a 747.

* At restaurant-gas stations throughout the nation:
"Eat here and get gas."

* At a Sante Fe gas station:
"We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."

* In a New Hampshire jewelry store:
"Ears pierced while you wait."

* In an New York restaurant"
"Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the
manager."

* In a Michigan restaurant:
"The early bird gets the worm!"
"Special shoppers' luncheon before 11:00 AM."

* On a delicatessen wall:
"Our best is none too good."

* On the wall of a Baltimore estate:
"Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law."
"-- Sisters of Mercy"

* On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaning store:
"Thirty-eight years on the same spot."

* In a Los Angeles dance hall:
"Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."

* On a movie theater:
"Children's matinee today. Adults not admitted unless with child."

* In a Florida maternity ward:
"No children allowed!"

* In a New York drugstore:
"We dispense with accuracy."



* On a New York loft building:
"Wanted: Woman to sew buttons on the fourth floor."

* In a New Hampshire medical building:
"Martin Diabetes Professional Ass."

* In the office of a loan company:
"Ask about our plans for owning your home."

* In a New York medical building:
"Mental health prevention center."

* In a toy department:
"Five Santa Clauses -- no waiting."

* On a New York convalescent home:
"For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church."

* On a Maine shop:
"Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and
workmanship.

* At a number of military bases:
"Restricted to unauthorized personnel."

* In a number of parking areas:
"Violators will be enforced and Trespassers will be violated."

* On a display of "I Love You Only" Valentine cards:
"Now available in multi-packs.";

* In the window of a Kentucky appliance store:
"Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machines do the dirty work."

* In a funeral parlor:
"Ask about our layaway plan."

* On a window of a New Hampshire hamburger restaurant:
"Yes, we are open. Sorry for the inconvenience."

* In a clothing store:
"Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."

* In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store:
"15 men's wool suits - $10.00 - They won't last an hour!"

* On an Indiana shopping mall marquee:
"Archery tournament. Ears pierced."

* In the bathroom of a large apartment building:
"When taking showers, please leave the bathroom door a jar.
This will prevent the plaster from peeling."

* Outside a country shop:
"We buy junk and sell antiques."

* On a North Carolina highway:
"EAT"
"300 FEET"

* On an Ohio highway:
"Drive slower When Wet."



* On a New Hampshire highway:
"You are speeding when flashing."

* On a Pennsylvania highway:
"Drive carefully: Auto accidents kill most people from 15 to 19."

* In downtown Boston:
"Calahan Tunnel/No. End."

* In the window of an Oregon general store:
"Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?"

* In a Massachusettes parking area reserved for birdwatchers:
"Parking for birds only."

* In a New Jersey restaurant:
"Open 11:00 AM to 11:00 PM Midnight."

* In front of a New Hampshire restaurant:
"Now serving live lobsters."

* In front of a New Hampshire store:
"Endurable floors."

* On a radiator repair garage:
"Best place too take a leak."

* On a movie marquee:
Now Playing:
Adam and Eve
with a cast of thousands!

* In the vestry of a New England church:
"Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual
light is extinguished."

* In a Pennsylvania cemetery:
"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own
graves."

* On a roller coaster:
"Watch your head."

* On a New Hampshire road:
"Will build to suit
Emory A. Tuttle"

* On the grounds of a private school:
"No trespassing without permission."

* In a library:
"Blotter paper will no longer be available until the public stops
taking it away.

* On a Tennessee highway:
"Take Notice: When this sign is under water the road is impasable."

* Similarily in a New Hampshire car wash:
"If you can't read this, it's time you wash your car."

The Sunday before Christmas, a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money. He asked the people to consider donating a little more than usual into the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns. After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering.

He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate. A very quiet, elderly, saintly looking lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front.

Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanks asked her to pick out three hymns.

Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three most handsome men in the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him."