OMG roflol there are almost too good .
BUT then you dont know the dutch jokes.
ahem here goes


blackmale micheal jackson is not funny

what is a turkey(people) in an ferrary?
seincefiction

what do you get if you have 2 black people in a sleeping bag?
twix

what do you get if an suriname has bone cancer?
bros(if you know the candy )

jantje(a populair kid in holland jokes) asks his dad what the difference is between a faqt and an principle
he answers ask your mom if she wants to make lover to the neighbourman for 500.000 euro.
ok says jantje
he come back and says:she want to do it for 500.000 euro.
ok say dad now ask the same to your sister.
jantje asks and comes back
she wants it too!
ok says dad in principle we are rich but the faqt is that we have 2 hookers at home.

jantje is 18 years and he and his dad go to the hookers
dad knok the window and the hooker respond by opening the window.
dad:can you teach my son a thing or two?
hooker:sure but it will cost you extra
dad:no worrrys about that
inside the building jantje stood before the hooker and asks
jantje:what is that?
hooker:that is y left boob.
can i smell it?
hooker:sure
jantje:what is that?
hooker:that is my right boob
jantje:can i smell it?
hooker:sure
jantje:What is that?
hooker:ahem that is my pussy
jantje then asks can i smell it?
hooker;sure
jantje smells and ask: is it dead for a long time?

for more dutch jokes
to be continu

ok a few more from moi

whem you are born you have 2 chance
yuo will be a boy or a girl
if you are an girl nothings wrong
if you become a boy you have 2 chances
or you go in the land force or in the air force
if you are in the land force nothings wrong
if you are in the airforce you hav e2 chances
either you fly or you crash
if you fly thee is nothing wrong
if you crash you have 2 chances
either you live or you die
if you are alive nothings wrong
if yuo are dead there are 2 chances
you'l get cremated or yuo will be buried in a coffin
if you are buried there is nothing wrong
if you are cremated there are two chances
youl be or the newspaper or the toilet paper
if you are news paper there is nothing wrong
if you become the toilet paper you have 2 chances
or you wil be used in the boystoilet or you wil be used in the girlstoilet
if you are being used in the boystoilet there is nothings wrong
if you are used in the girls room you have 2 chances
or you will be whiped from the front or you are whiped from the back
if you are whiped from the back there is nothing wrong
if you are whiped from the front yuo have 1 chance....grab that chance
personaly one of my favourites

OMG laijunjie14 your a genius i tell yuo im jealous i dont have that many jokes even if i count the bad ones
respect i say

BOW TO YOU
keep up the good work

am man dies and come to the heaven port an petrus is waiting for him
petrus told the man to come with him and they came into a room with many clocks.
the man asks wow there are a lot of clocks in here but why
petrus told the man:every men have his own clock everytime they come in sex the clock wiser wil go one hour forward.
the man asks thats al good and fine but where is mine?
petrus answers:ooooo we putted that clock in the kitchen as an ventilator

WTF!!!!

call me jj, everyone does

ok jj but what do u think of my jokes?
yours where hilarious

yours was great

*reviving this thread

jokes that i heard over the radio

1) you're so fat that when i took a picture of you last year, it's still printing!

2) once, there was a space venture, and the US discovered that ballpoint pens were useless in space, due to the gravity issues. so they spent millions investing and researching on a pen that can withstand weightlessness and shock.

the russians, used a pencil

3)You're so fat that when I try to avoid hitting you with my car, I run out of petrol

4)You're so fat that when I want to avoid bumping into you, I have to run a marathon

5)You're so dark that when I eat dark chocolate, people though I'm practicing cannibalism

6)You're so stupid that when people ask you to make up your mind, you put make-up on your head

The travelling salesman's car broke down in the country and he knocked on the farmhouse door. When the farmer opened the door, the salesman said, "Sir, my car has broken down, and I was wondering if you might be able to put me up for the night?"

The farmer said, "Why, sure, but you will have to sleep with my son."

The salesman hesitated then said, "Excuse me, sir, but I think I'm in the wrong joke."

ur so stupid, u stare at a orange juice box for 3 hours coz it had the word concerntrate

ur so stupid that in the dictionary under moron, ur picture will be there

ur so stupid that u will strangle urself wif a wireless controller

ur so ugly that will pay u to put ur clothes back on

ur so fat and ugly that japanese tourist start pointing at u and start running and screaming "Godzilla"

you're so ugly that Paris Hilton mistaken you for her chihuahua

You're so ugly that when I bring you back to the zoo, they said thanks for bringing him back

You're so ugly that when Beyonce sees you, she says "To The Left, To The Left"

You're so ugly that when you go to a freak show, they gave you a permanent job

You're so ugly that all the bulimic girls paste your photo on their kitchen sink so they can puke on seeing you

You're so ugly that when you threw a boomerang, it didn't come back

You're so ugly that when you try to touch yourself, your hand pretend to fall asleep

You're so ugly that the scientist decided to categorized you as a new breed of dog

You're so ugly that both your parents named you "S H I T HAPPENS"