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A young husband and wife were sunning on a nude beach when a wasp buzzed into the woman's vagina. The husband covered her with a coat, pulled on his shorts, carried her to the car and made a dash to the hospital.

After examining her, the doctor explained that the wasp was too far in to be reached with forceps. He suggested the husband try to entice it out by putting honey on his penis, penetrating her and withdrawing as soon as he felt the wasp.The man agreed to try, but because he was so nervous, he couldn't rise to the occasion.

"If neither of you objects," the doctor said, "I could give it a try." Under the circumstances, both agreed. The doctor quickly undressed, slathered on some honey and mounted the woman. The husband watched with increasing alarm as the doctor's thrusts continued for several long minutes. "Hey, What the hell are you doing?!?!?!", screamed the husband.

"Change of plan," the physician panted, "I'm going to drown the little bastard!."

how the olympics 2008 logo was created

The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, ?I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we?re going to be three in this house instead of two.?

Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.

He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, ?I?m glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us.?

In a particular exercise, a platoon of soldiers have been wearing their own underwear for a week, switching sides ( inside out, outside in)every day.

The platoon sergeant notices it and one day, he decides to give the platoon a helping hand..

" I understand that every mother's son here has been wearing his crap for a damn week alrdy. So now..I've got a freakin good idea to help u worms out."

The platoon of soldiers roared into happiness and excitement, thinking of wad the platoon sergeant was gonna give them, while others jumped up in joy and hi-5 each other.

To this, the platoon sergeant commanded aloud " Listen up privates!"

Soldiers pricked up their ears to wad their commander had to offer.









"Freakin switch ur underwears with Platoon 2!!"

"NOW GO!"

A woman says to her mother, "I'm divorcing Sheldon! All he wants is anal sex and my rear end is now the size of a 50 cent piece when it used to be the size of a 5 cent piece."

Mother says "You're married to a multi-millionaire businessman, you live in an 8 bedroom mansion, you drive a Ferrari, you get $3,000 a week allowance, you take 6 vacations a year and you want to throw all that away for 45 cents?

There were three daughters and they all wanted to get married but they couldn?t afford it and neither could there parents. So the parents said ?We will give you all a joint wedding and then you will all be able to get married?.

So they got married and all three daughters then said ?I want a honeymoon but we cant afford it?. The parents couldn?t afford it either so they decided they would have the honeymoon at their parents house.

So on there honeymoon night their mother woke up and deiced to go downstairs and get a drink. On the way down she heard the first daughter screaming but she just ignored it. When she reached the second daughters bedroom she could hear laughing and just ignored it. When she reached the third daughters room she could hear nothing and decided to ignore it.

The next morning at the breakfast table she said to the first daughter ?Why were you screaming??. And the daughter replied ?Well mother you told me to scream when something hurt.?

Then the mother said to the second daughter ?Why were you laughing last night?? and the daughter replied ?Mother you told me to laugh when something tickled?.

Then the mother said to the last daughter ?Why didn?t I hear anything coming from your room last night?? and the daughter replied ?Well mother you told me never to talk with my mouth full?.

In a world space convention there is a press conference about future projects each country is working on

Russia says they're going to Mars

America says they're going to Venus

and Indonesia says

"We're going to the Sun"

"How do you plan to do that?" asks a reporter.

"Oh, we'll go at night" (BOINK)

A genie appears in front of three guys it grants them one wish each. One wishes to be locked in a cave with all the women in the world he can sleep with. One wants all the alcohol in the world. The last one wants to be locked in a cave with all the cigarettes in the world. When they're all done the sex maniac is all sexed out, the alcoholic is drunken out, but the cigarette guy seems fine. He goes up to the genie "You idiot! You forgot the match!" (AHYUK)

A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students.
As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the
students to introduce themselves with name and hobby.

She said, \"Let\'s start with the boys first.\"

Boys start giving their intro...

First boy: \"My name is John, and my hobby is to see
bubble in the bathtub.\"

Teacher was confused to listen but said, \"Interesting.
Well, Ok. In fact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all
there is essentially a child in each of us. So it\'s ok John. Yes next.\"

Second boy: \"Myself Peter and my hobby is to see
bubble in the bathtub.\"

Teacher now got surprised and said, \"Good. I like the
spirit of supporting a friend. Ok next.\"

Third boy: \"I\'m Smith and my hobby is to see
bubble in the bathtub.\"

Teacher: \"Guys are you joking or what? Please be
sincere. Ok next.\"

This continues...
and the last boy stands up \"I\'m Harry and my hobby is
to see bubble in the bathtub.\"

Exhausted, the teacher said, \"I don\'t think I will be
able to teach un-grown boys for long.
Anyway, now the girls please.\"

First girl: \"I\'m Julie and my hobby is to see birds.\"

Teacher: \"Good. At last I got something different. Ok
next.\"

Second girl: \"I\'m Ruby and I like to collect perfumes.\"

Teacher \"Now it\'s like educated grown up girls. Ok
next. You sweet girl; Yes you...\"

Most beautiful girl of the class:
\"Madam, my name is Bubble, and my hobby is to take
bath three times a day.\"