The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!"
Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS."
"Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient.
"You've also got Alzheimer's Disease."
Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

Quote:

chocolate?!

She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, Her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, ?Lord, they?re finally together.?

One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, ?Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?? The friend replied, ?I think he means her legs.?

ooooh! chocolate!!!


oh and sayo jreuij...im sleepy...gonna play my ds before i go to sleep...love you jreuij..this is like another 50 posts and that much closer to soy and now im going off...see ya tomorrow morning...*waves goodbye
...oh and onegaishimasu to you again allanah...
(psst: she reminds me of you alot jreuij...)

im off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz!
sing!sing!sing!

ok then... good night!!
you too...

There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home.

He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep on the couch. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, resumed his position on the couch and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: ?Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.?

The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: ?He lives in a home with four children?he?s trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow??

Did you know that many non-living things have a gender?

1) Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything
in, but you can see right through them.

2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it
takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective
reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can
wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-
inflated.

4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere,
you have to light a fire under it and, of course, there's the
hot air component.

5) Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and
retain water.

6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick
people up.

8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight can shift
to the bottom.

9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last
5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

10) Remote Control -- Female. Ha! You thought it'd be male.
But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost
without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons
to push, he keeps trying.

too much

too late