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  •  vietncamboboi
      vietncamboboi
Re: jokes!
User on Probation
Joined: 2007/11/7
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Posts: 2803
ughm no foul lang plz
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Posted on: 2008/2/23 19:15
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  •  jreuij
      jreuij
Re: jokes!
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Joined: 2007/5/18
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Posts: 4783
An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.

"Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig."

The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."
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the hardest challenge is to be yourself in a world where everyone is trying to make you be somebody else... \(^o^)/
Posted on: 2008/2/24 22:37
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  •  jreuij
      jreuij
Re: jokes!
Insane Hikki Fan
Joined: 2007/5/18
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Posts: 4783
Q. Difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a man fighting with his wife...
A. A man has a chance at winning at the lottery.
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the hardest challenge is to be yourself in a world where everyone is trying to make you be somebody else... \(^o^)/
Posted on: 2008/2/24 22:38
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  •  kayoko
      kayoko
Re: jokes!
Insane Hikki Fan
Joined: 2007/8/24
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Posts: 3817
Quote:

jreuij wrote:
Q. Difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a man fighting with his wife...
A. A man has a chance at winning at the lottery.


haha...i concur...two thumbs...up
Posted on: 2008/2/25 5:32
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  •  laijunjie14
      laijunjie14
Re: jokes!
Show Off!
Joined: 2006/11/17
A/S/L 24/M/Singapore
Posts: 6223
many years ago i witnessed this incident in a train....

a mum was with a child who wouldn't stop screaming and crying

boy: mummy mummy i wanna pee....

mum: boy boy wait, 2 more stations we go down already....

boy: cannot wait already pee comin out, peee coming out....

mum: try to endure la, 2 more stations we can go down already, very fast...

boy: cannot cannot..... i wanna pee here....

mum: down here train la, cannot anyhow shee shee.....

boy: can....i wanna pee inside your mouth......

mum: DUN TALK RUBBISH.... WHO THAUGHT U TO TALK LIKE TAT... SO RUDE

boy: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh ...... WHY DADDY CAN I CANNOT???

mum: .............

The rest of the passengers burst out laughing

(btw, this is real)
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Posted on: 2008/2/25 11:21
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  •  laijunjie14
      laijunjie14
Re: jokes!
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Joined: 2006/11/17
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Posts: 6223
Fiona and Mark are a married couple shopping in a Tesco's. Mark spots a special offer on Stella Artois beer: 24 cans for ?10!

As he reaches for the beer, Fiona stops him, "What do you think you're doing?"

"They're on offer, it's just 10 quid for 24 cans."

"Put them back, we can't afford it," says Fiona, and they carry on shopping...

A few aisles later, Fiona adds a ?20 jar of face cream to the shopping cart.

"What do you think you're doing?" questions Mark.

"It's my face cream, it makes me look beautiful," she claims.

Her husband replies...





"SO DO 24 CANS OF STELLA AND THEY'RE HALF THE (censored)ING PRICE!"
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Posted on: 2008/2/25 11:23
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  •  laijunjie14
      laijunjie14
Re: jokes!
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Joined: 2006/11/17
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Posts: 6223
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Posted on: 2008/2/25 11:25
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  •  laijunjie14
      laijunjie14
Re: jokes!
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Joined: 2006/11/17
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Posts: 6223
The first ladies of UK, Russia and France were having a meeting with Lady Hilary Clinton.

The subject of discussion was the penis of their respective spouse.

The first lady of UK says, "It is like a gentleman - it stands up, as soon as I enter the room"

The lady from Russia says, "It is like an army officer- you do not know where he will attack from- front or back.."

The French lady says, "It is like the screen in the auditorium- once the act is performed, it drops down..."

Then Hilary says, "It's like a rumour... it moves from one mouth to another..."
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Posted on: 2008/2/25 11:27
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  •  laijunjie14
      laijunjie14
Re: jokes!
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Joined: 2006/11/17
A/S/L 24/M/Singapore
Posts: 6223
Random noob: I have a large penis

Random noob: It is so large that it stretches from A to Z on the keyboard

Random noob: ......oh wait (looks at keyboard)

Random noob: damn....
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Posted on: 2008/2/25 11:28
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  •  Unregistered
      Unregistered
Re: jokes!
guest_Unregistered
Nasty but.....nevermind
Posted on: 2008/2/25 14:08
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