y does junjie always say those kinda stuff?

rated...

Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts." The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts." She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute." The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore ..." The man sighs and says, "It's started ..."

Bored in a party? Here a list of what you can do:

Karate chop everywhere and everything. Yell really, really loud. A few sudden kicks would be worthwhile as well.

Wear wool or feathers and sneeze all night. "The doctor says I'm not allergic to anything except sheep and birds..."

If someone says the word no to you, say, "How dare you turn down the prince / princess of Ugranialo!"

Burst into the room an hour late, sopping wet and screaming, "I've done it! I've found Atlantis!"

Pick out the oldest women at the party, run up to her, and exclaim, "Grandmother! it's me, Anastasia!"

Q: How many men does it take to make popcorn?
A: Four, one to hold the pot, and three to act macho and shake the stove.

Questions...questions...

1. Is there another word for synonym?

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

7. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

8. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

9. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?

10. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

ur jokes r tooo long

Quote:

i find that kinda stuff funny

A man is walking along a desrted beach, picks up a bottle and rubs it. Sure enough, out pops a genie and offers him two wishes.

"I wish I was always hard, and I wish I could get all the ass I wanted."

"As you command," said the genie and turned him into a toilet seat.