Q: How many men does it take to make popcorn?
A: Four, one to hold the pot, and three to act macho and shake the stove.

Bored in a party? Here a list of what you can do:

Karate chop everywhere and everything. Yell really, really loud. A few sudden kicks would be worthwhile as well.

Wear wool or feathers and sneeze all night. "The doctor says I'm not allergic to anything except sheep and birds..."

If someone says the word no to you, say, "How dare you turn down the prince / princess of Ugranialo!"

Burst into the room an hour late, sopping wet and screaming, "I've done it! I've found Atlantis!"

Pick out the oldest women at the party, run up to her, and exclaim, "Grandmother! it's me, Anastasia!"

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts." The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts." She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute." The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore ..." The man sighs and says, "It's started ..."

Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."

rated...

y does junjie always say those kinda stuff?

Nasty but.....nevermind

Random noob: I have a large penis

Random noob: It is so large that it stretches from A to Z on the keyboard

Random noob: ......oh wait (looks at keyboard)

Random noob: damn....

The first ladies of UK, Russia and France were having a meeting with Lady Hilary Clinton.

The subject of discussion was the penis of their respective spouse.

The first lady of UK says, "It is like a gentleman - it stands up, as soon as I enter the room"

The lady from Russia says, "It is like an army officer- you do not know where he will attack from- front or back.."

The French lady says, "It is like the screen in the auditorium- once the act is performed, it drops down..."

Then Hilary says, "It's like a rumour... it moves from one mouth to another..."