20 Things I Learned From Tech Support:


1) As long as the world turns, users will still have problems

2) Substance abusers and computer operators are the only folks called users. This isn't by chance

3) When in doubt. Reboot

4) Sooner or later you will meet a person who types out the words "backslash" or forgets to plug in the power cord. If you haven't yet, just wait, you will

5) Fear the phone. No one just calls tech support to wish you good morning. Laughing

6) No user will tell you the whole truth at the beginning of a call

7) "I didn't do anything" or "It just happened" Are the users mantra Laughing

8 ) As a support tech, it is your job to break down resistance and get the truth Laughing

9) This is so you can rub the lie in their face, fixing the issue is just a perk

10) Some people will never learn

11) This means you will always have a job Laughing

12) Maintain a calm voice, even if you're screaming on the inside

13) The hold button is your friend Laughing Laughing

14) Whatever you do, don't panic

15) The answer to all users questions should be "Trust me, I know what I'm doing" even if this is a bald-faced lie Laughing

16) Users can smell fear. Once you've lost control, all is lost

17) A user who is not listening to you anymore, but rather is trying "their own thing" is not worth your time. Simulate a telephone disconnect and hang up. Trust me, you're better off.

18) Cool Sometimes fixing a computer is easier than figuring out why it was broken

19) Users always want a reason things are fixed. If you're not sure just lie. They won't know anyway. "A stray electron passed through the processor and caused..." Laughing

20) If possible ask to speak to the youngest person present

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Under it's comments section straight after the list... there was one who commented:

4:19 PM
Anonymous said...
True Story: I told a customer the "mouse server" is down.
I had to put the phone on mute while I laughed when they said "ohh okay".