Clearly Sir Alex has a rather different perspective and warns ?The second half of the season is when experience counts and we have that and we have the squad. The key is getting the defence fit and then we'll be a much better team."

With Nemanja Vidic in particular back to fitness gives Sir Alex a compressive selection and something like a solid back four in their last two matches and United have proved this in the matches with Hull and Wigan both easy wins.

Arsenal's recent form has sadly seen Kayoko turn slightly cuckoo....how does it go ?watch out Chelsea, Arsenal are coming after you?......Doctor for Kayoko he?s in danger going ?window licker?......


So for Mr Cuckoo a true story for New Years Eve ..., Sir Alex, Jose Mourinho, and Arsene Wenger go into a Famous London Pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the Barmaid plonks there pints down on the bar, three huge flies buzz down and lands in each of the pints. Sir Alex looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint. Jose picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow. But Arsene Wenger reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"....And that about says it all.....nuff said ....


For Man U the return to full fitness of Rio Ferdinand, Johnny Evans and John O'Shea will be crucial for the second half of the season...."There is no doubt that having a settled defence makes all the difference to us," cooed Sir Alex "The stability given to us by our back four against Wigan and last time out against Hull has been fantastic. We could have won by more against Wigan because we were able to play with confidence and aggression from that base. We hit the woodwork a couple of times and had another cleared off the line, but we're happy enough with 5-0."

A few famous Arsenal Q and A?s :

Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Arsenal Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the Arsenal Fan. Twice.

Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan in a suit?
A: The accused.

Q: Why did God make Arsenal supporters smelly?
A: So blind people could laugh at them too!

Q: What do you call 100 Arsenal supporters at the bottom of a cliff?
A: A good start!

Q: What do you call a dead Gunner Fan in a closet?
A: Last years winner of the hide and seek contest.

Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan that does well on an IQ test?
A: A cheat.

The seven dwarfs are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them.
In the distance a voice shouts out "Arsenal" are good enough to win the European Cup."
Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"

Thanks and credit to ?This arsenal jokes collection? ? by Humorsphere


And for fairness to Kayoko some Chelsea funnies too:

Royal Mail have just recalled their latest selection of stamps, featuring pictures of Jose Mourinho on them. Apparently people were confused which side to spit on.

What is the difference between Jose Mourinho and God? God doesn't think he's Jose Mourinho.

Why can't you get a cup of tea at Stamford Bridge? All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Old Trafford
Heard about the John Terry tyre? Excellent durability but not so good in the wet.

After Ryan Giggs lifted the Champions League cup for a second time he had a peek inside and there was a Chocolate Orange in it. He said - "It's not Terry's, it's mine!"

Four surgeons are taking a coffee break:

1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is colour coded."

4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arse's are interchangeable."

Q: What do you get when you cross a Chelsea Fan with a pig?
A: I don't know, there are some things a pig just won't do.

Credit and thanks to Paul Kavanagh

Happy New Year Sport fans ....