Pffft! The OP is an amateur.

I arrived fashionably late of course and the staff were eager to let me in and escort me to the very front of the crowd because they were intimidated by my awesomeness. When Utada appeared on stage she immediately met my gaze, because she was struck by my eyes that are perfect slits that are flat lines, because I am so deliberately bred to be pure genetically Japanese that my blood is a nice shade of aqua blue.

While everyone else in the crowd were shouting like the crazed ape wannabe Japanese gaijins they are, I merely yelled out (in perfect Japanese which I can't reproduce here because this "Utada" website--- "Utada" in quotes because a REAL Utada messageboard would take Japanese characters sheesh :rolls eyes x10:) "Be my concubine!" and she replied, "Oh yes I would love to!"

Everyone in the crowd loved me and I chatted with them but they were too dumb to realize that I was just humoring them because it's fun to exploit the stupidity of white, black, and Korean wannabe Japanese gaijins (I mean really the white people should all be at a Garth Brooks concert, the black people should be watching 50 Cent and the Koreans be saluting Kim Jong Il am I right? Am I right?).

I drank a small shot of Smirnoff ice and I was TOTALLY wasted, seriously!

I was already waiting in Utada's hotel room when she arrived, and when I unzipped my pants she was all too eager to autograph my 12-inch beer-can thick penis, but not before giving me a meticulous handjob! All in the name of glorious Nippon!

HEY GUYS WHY ARE YOU OFFENDED IT MUST BE BECAUSE YOU ARE FILTHY KOREAN GAIJINS THAT MUST BE IT