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'THE BREAK' - Utada Hikaru's Sabbatical
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I just heard about the announcement today, and I have to say that I am not too surprised, I am slightly disheartened, but also grateful. It is a mixture of emotions but I feel I need to share them. There is really no where else I can express them, my best friend who went with me to Chicago "In The Flesh" has moved to Jersey and texting or talking over the phone doesn't seem to do justice.
I kinda had a feeling this might happen. When I learned on this site(Very Big Thank You btw), that Utada was doing a tour and Chicago wasn't sold out, I bought the tickets within a week knowing that this moment would be the only chance I would have to see Utada live. Of course this doesn't mean she won't do more tours later, just ones I can't go to. I tried my best while I was at the concert to really,... REALLY appreciate the experience and never take it for granted. As far as that goes I feel like i did my best, but my best doesn't compare to Utada's performance and her spirit. I feel lacking in that regard and of course I want more.
While my personal feelings can give me insight to the truth, the main reason this wasn't a shock was her reason for being a musician. In an interview she said that while growing up she considered her parents' lives hectic and crazy. "Why would anyone want to be a musician?" was a question that I have asked myself. I felt connected to Utada in that way. Many of my life's choices have been determined and set because of my childish rebellions and self-imposed curses. Listening to utada was an escape or rather a victory over those "chains." I didn't ever have to wonder what things could have been like.
The one thing though that was always a thorn in my side, was the fact that Utada never wrote a song about overcoming intrinsic obstacles, i.e. why she changed her mind about her parents' lives. This is the ultimate reason why I am not surprised about her decision. I don't claim that this is reality(by that I mean that she is having this battle in her mind), but my feelings toward this led me to a correct conclusion, that I won't ever see her again live in concert. This saddens me.
Also though I am grateful. She didn't ever have to do a tour in the States. If that was her decision then I would have NEVER seen her live. To me that reality is worse than just seeing her once. Not only did I see her once but I managed to record it on an mp3 player. This to me is my greatest possession. Like my recollection of the experience, it doesn't compare to her, but it is something.
Also I am a little excited. What if she answers all her questions(if they are questions) and makes more music. How EPIC would it be?!!!!!!!
Posted on: 2010/8/20 23:04
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